Wall Street Journal  – dateline Sat/Sun November 30-December 1, 2013 . REVIEW section, front page feature article , THE BOOMER BUST, by P. J. O’Rourke – essayist.

P.J. O’Rourke has a thing or two to get off his chest about  being one of and observing the 75 million odd baby boomer generation. He seems to be deeply troubled by our  existence and wallowing in baby boomer’s remorse  while he speaks for ALL of us. His musings embrace  his own self- loathing and our collective one as well. Thanks for worrying about us  P.J. O’Rourke.

The baby boomers have an exact definition. Did you know that? A precise demography we are told in his essay.

‘We are the children who were born during a period after WWII when the long-term trend in fertility among American women was exceeded.’

This definition is further broken down into the following catagories.

Seniors – those born in the late 40’s.

Juniors – those born in the early 1950’s ( your’s truly)

Sophomores – those born in the late 1950’s

Freshman – those born in the early 1960’s

This time span from the late 40’s to the early 60’s was  generally characterized by a profusion of opportunity concurrent with a collapse of traditional social standards. Mr. O’Rourke opines that this perfect storm of opportunity and social standard breakdown led us ‘en masse’ to become …” greedy for love, happiness, thrills, fame, inner peace and money.”

Furthermore, we are ‘NOT a generation who listens to anybody, including God.’

We are ‘the generation who insisted that a passion for living should replace working for one.’ All we cared about was our ‘personal universe.’

                                    Hey! Baby boomers…are you feeling BAD about yourself yet?! 

P.J. concludes his essay by pointing out that we now must come to the obvious conclusion that in our dotage, ‘everything you were told , was wrong and we must despair!’

I will hold off on the despair for just a bit while I make some of my own observations… from a Junior’s point of view.

We were most definitely born in an age of wondrous opportunity – certainly more than our parents ever could have imagined for us. We were, however, just children born into that time with no knowledge that it was a ‘golden ‘ era of prosperity or that we were destined to be the gigantic know- it -all generation of selfish leeches on society that according to P.J., we have become. Anyway… as we were growing up, mysteries did still abound. Like, why did our father’s spend hours on the couch watching old black and white movies about Hitler? Why would you watch that when the Three Stooges could entertain you so much better? Hitler was boring, and we had no way to relate any of that piece of history to our young, shiny, hopeful lives that our parents had born us into. They wanted to shield us and move us on from that dark time in both our history and the world’s. It was a new day and we were destined to move it forward with their help. We added hope to our ‘personal universe’.

Much like many of my generation and the seniors before me, our parents did not go to college. Yet they were not so uneducated that they did not see the great value it would be to us in the new world we were born into. So off to colleges we marched in great numbers, as much to get educated as to spare their young sons the horror of fighting in the Vietnam War. A war, as a generation, we questioned. We added education to our ‘personal universe’, with a healthy dose of questioning authority.

Now equipped with fine college educations, hope, and a questioning mind we went on to advance technology, medicine, religion, sexual equality, racial equality, women’s choices, career stereotypes, music, arts, literature, science , and the quality of life for 75 million people – just here in our country alone.

My goodness…what had our parents wrought? We were certainly NOT the Greatest Generation. We know who they are and what they did and sacrificed for us, and they deserve that title. The Greatest Generation gave us the age of opportunity and we embraced it whole heartedly. I’m frankly mystified by what perfect world we were obliged to create to satisfy P.J. O’Rourke’s viewpoint of our wasted lives. We have clearly been negligent to his thinking.

It is my contention that the best thing we learned and then shared as a generation was to QUESTION EVERYTHING. We questioned authority endlessly and on every front until we got answers that led us to a better understanding of our world and those on the planet that we shared it with.

                                   I believe as a generation, we learned to’ live in the question’.

And in doing so, we have kept an open and hopeful mind to the future. That is personally what I believe I have passed on to my son and his generation.

I do not share P.J. O’Rourke’s snarky, sad viewpoint on the 75 million baby boomer’s impact on society over the last 67 years. Perhaps his own personal expectations and achievements have led him to this rather dark and unfulfilled viewpoint. All I can say is, cheer up P.J., and peace out.

( featured image , WHAT HAVE I LEARNED? , canvas collage by Catherine Massaro)

I have always loved organizational principles. It’s one of the things I love about the process of creating a piece of art – organizing both my ideas and the technical constructs of how I am going to communicate my idea through the work. One of my canvas collages from the TO END IS TO BEGIN series is entitled, PEARLS of WISDOM. The piece is about the many, many ways there are of embracing higher principals. Or as Stevie Wonder said in his beautiful song…Higher Ground.

They say, with practice, adherence to higher principals instead of personal prejudices can become second nature. For instance, you could practice a different value each day of the week. This great weekly approach is from Dr. Amit Sood chair of the Mayo Mind Body Initiative

 Monday : GRATITUDE – find 5 things to be grateful for.

Tuesday : COMPASSION – intend to decrease pain & suffering throughout your day, recognizing that everyone experiences pain, loss and suffering.

Wednesday : ACCEPTANCE – live your day by accepting yourself as you are and others as they are.

Thursday : MEANING & PURPOSE – with some humility and perspective, focus on the ultimate meaning and purpose of your life.

Friday : FORGIVENESS –  start by forgiving yourself for past mistakes and then move on to others.

Saturday : CELEBRATION –  celebrate your life and the lives of those around you, savor the joy that brings.

Sunday : REFLECTION – This may be through prayer, meditation or simply awareness.

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And there you have a weeks worth of mindful living in the moment.

Mindfulness is a way of life … and life can be full of meaning , purpose and joy. And that is what PEARLS OF WISDOM is to me.

(more…)

It’s Sunday … a day of rest. Do yourself a favor and really embrace that concept whether it’s from a religious point of view or not. The world has gotten so complex, so overwhelming, with instant knowledge of everything around us from all parts of the earth and even beyond that realm. It’s simply too much for us to comprehend.
What we can practically change or impact is so very limited and small compared to what we hope to accomplish, it’s exhausting to our minds and spirit. So don’t try and catch up on the world because it’s a day off, instead sit still and let it go by. Revel in the slow and stillness and take a day off from the complexities of life.
Trying to catch up on the world can’t be done and trying to will get you nowhere; like this poor guy in the featured photograph.

Relax everyone.

(featured photograph by Catherine Massaro)

So, this is a rather long story if you care to indulge yourself in epic failures I’ve had, that somehow changed my life for the better.

I landed a job once at a time when I needed it most, though my entire life as I knew it was going to hell. A place I had always dreamt about working, New York City.

The job started out in Long Island, Central Islip for those of you who know that part of the world, but since the showroom was in Manhattan, I was able to convince my boss that I could get more done working out of the city rather than the manufacturing plant in Islip. I was thus spared the daily ride in to Penn Station on the Long Island Railroad, plus the indignity of living in Central Islip.

The job was more money than I had ever made, but my expenses were as well. I was paying a lawyer for a divorce, my shrink for my sanity, my son was in a private school in Connecticut and I was slowly going bankrupt from it all. So I needed that job just to hang on to my crumbling life. As circumstances would have it, my boss was a complete shit head of the most manipulative, evil, diabolical kind. A truly dangerous fellow who liked trapping his employees into personal loans for cars, and their children’s college debt, vacation home mortgages and the like and then holding their feet to the fire knowing they could not quit on him. He would then proceed to humiliate and verbally abuse them publicly in the workplace, knowing they were trapped. I had a fellow working with me, dear Julian, who warned me from the start to never, ever, take a thing from him and I heeded his warning. Came a day, when the entire sales and creative team was at the big conference table to review sales from market week, and the shit started hitting the fan – big time. Mr. Evil started at one end of the table ( I was at the very end) and one poor schmuck at a time, he berated their work and them personally till I was almost white faced watching their humiliation. He was however, making his way quickly towards me, and I realized my father would be turning in his grave knowing I was working for such a despicable man. I had had enough of being manipulated in my marriage, saw the ugly connection of putting up with crap and the long term harm it had done me, and suddenly my therapy kicked in and I knew I had to make a call. I slowly put all my files into my briefcase, stood up calmly and faced him down at the opposite end of the big oval conference table and said exactly that –

“If my father knew I was working for such a horrible person he would turn in his grave. I quit.”

As I marched out of the room, watching the looks of horror on my fellow coworker’s faces, he screamed at me, “You will never work here again!”

No problem, I was gone. It was time to go. And I felt like a bird let out of a cage as I marched down 5th Avenue free from tyranny – until I got to Washington Square, when it dawned on me that I was now living in one of the most expensive cities in the world… without a job.

Well, long story short, things got bad and things got worse. Within 2 months I crashed and burned both physically and emotionally and landed back in Buffalo, filing for bankruptcy, living with my mother, completely incoherent and on lots of Prozac. That’s how things can go when you make grown up decisions. I just knew no amount of money was going to be worth that paycheck, no matter how much I was loving being in New York City, and I surely was loving it.

But the most wonderful thing happened … I started to get better fairly quickly after I let go of the nightmare that had become my life. I crept slowly and painfully back into the working world, one sweet little low paying job after another, eventually without pharmaceuticals, and a newfound strength and freedom. Where I landed about 5 years later is sort of a fairy tale ending, but it just goes to show … you should know when it’s time to go!

(featured image – oil on canvas, THE ESCAPE ARTIST, by Catherine Massaro)

I got stalled out big time over the last few weeks.

“Hey…it happens”, says my friend Jay. I rather enjoyed being given permission to have down time and stare down that big rock in my path for a while. By the end of the second week , we had become friends and here I sit, happy to be back in the saddle.
That big rock represents the ‘time out’ we should allow ourselves to muse, ponder, assimilate, reflect and slow down. We are all compelled to push forward, make stuff happen, engage! Sometimes the bigger the rock, the better the reflective time.
I feel relaxed and centered again, rather pleased that I did not get caught up in negative thoughts about what a slacker I was, or that I had lost my creative mojo.

After all, creativity is not on a time clock – nor should it be.

( photograph by Catherine Massaro)

I wake up every morning eager to be inspired by what life has to offer me. I can do this because I made a conscious decision to live in the question – to embrace uncertainty and change. Uncertainty and change  are the only real constants in our lives anyway. They are the only two things we can always be assured of day in and day out. When I wake up, I know these two things will be my constant companions.

So how do you organize your days around uncertainty? Here’s how – by looking for connections and staying wide-eyed and ever curious about living that day. Decide to spend the day dwelling on the threshold of adventure and see what comes to you rather than chasing down a dream or goal.

It is my contention that your dreams and goals can come to you, simply by changing your intention. 

…and the Buddha said on his deathbed ,

                                                                               BE YE LAMPS UNTO YOURSELVES.

THE ONLY WAY TO STOP BEING A DOORMAT IS TO GET UP OFF THE FLOOR.

Easy advise for an easier life.

Well, my ex-pat son and his little family are off again. This time to settle in as full time citizens of Ecuador.

I was 16 years old before I ever took my first airplane ride. My little grandaughter, Grace, has been flying since she was 10 months old. Not that I’m happy to see her leave mind you, I hate not being a part of her life where I can scoop her up in my arms and hug her the way a grandmother is supposed to. But that’s just the way it is in our modern world I suppose. I will surely go visit them there in Cuenca, Ecuador, and have a fabulous new adventure myself when I do. I guess they are simply doing what I always loved, traveling and experiencing life with an eye towards adventure.

So, my goodbye to them sounds like this:

GO!

GO! often

GO! without reservations

GO! and don’t look back

GO! to escape

GO! to find something new

GO! when you are not supposed to

GO! to lead an interesting life

GO! again, and again and again

I’ll catch up with you Grace, further on down the road. Love Gramma C.

Yesterday was the Dalai Lama’s 78th birthday. I love the Dalai Lama. I love the baby Jesus too. And Buddha as well. I mean, what’s not to love?

It wasn’t always that way for me. Religion was so damn confusing to me as a child. Being raised Roman Catholic had lots of rules, but it narrowed down to one basic rule … having faith. No matter what confusing question I posed to the nuns at Sunday school, the pat answer to all the mysteries in my life was always answered with…have faith. This answer was very unsatisfying to me. I was looking for some real answers. Why are all those children in Africa starving? Why did my dog have to get run over by a car? Where is that pony I prayed for every year? Then as I got older – what’s the deal with that Vietnam War? Why are so many people dying of cancer? Why did my friend commit suicide? The world’s problems kept getting bigger and more out of control. I heard no good answers, and faith  certainly wasn’t cutting it. I was a fallen Catholic.

The road back to any kind of faith came after a 3 year experience with the Unitarian Universalist Church. The first year I attended happened to center around the teachings of world religions. Each service was a different speaker, about a different country and its’ religion, and the after service refreshments were pot luck donations of food that featured the culinary experience of that country. And as the adults were upstairs at the service, the children were downstairs learning about customs and geography and beliefs of the children of those different worlds and world religions. Gosh it was eye opening. Suddenly the commonalities of world religions started coming together for me and I began to get my own sense of how religion could work for me.

                                I learned it’s better to believe too much than nothing at all. 

And the best thing I learned, was in the beautiful words of Vincent Van Gogh – “But I always think the best way to know God is to love many things.” I think the Dalai Lama would like that birthday wish. Love many things.

Anyway, don’t get all worried about religion, having one, following rules … we all find our way if we have an open heart. So go get your own glimpse of God. Because the only possible spiritual path is your own experience.

And HAPPY BIRTHDAY Dalai Lama!

(photo detail from FORSAKEN , canvas collage by Catherine Massaro)